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My approach depends entirely on your needs

A similar process takes place in couples work, though with couples I will focus more on how you as a couple relate to each other and the styles of communication that you engage in. I will also aspire to help you find alternatives to the status quo, with the idea of making each of your lives easier while at the same time creating more dialogue and intimacy in your relationship.

 

After listening to your points of view and observing how you interact as a couple I will suggest ways of communicating that will increase the likelihood that each of you get your needs met. My suggestions are aimed at moving you away from communication styles that undermine your goal of being seen and acknowledged in the relationship.

 

In addition to highlighting how your communication styles might be getting in the way of your relationship goals, I also keep an eye out for the “elephant in the room,” the over-arching dynamic that, for many couples, form the center of the conflict in the relationship. Once this core issue is identified, working on improved communication often becomes more meaningful; new communication skills are now worked on in the context of the central underlying conflict being addressed directly. The particular nature of the core conflict tends to be unique to each couple.